Dear Younger Me Tonia Brewer

Dear Younger Me

Dear Younger Me,

I have a lot I want to tell you. And so much I don’t. I think you deserve to find out most of it for yourself. That’s what will serve you better in the long run. Experience. As tempting as it is to tell you things that I think would save you pain and heartache, I know those are the times you will learn the most, and grow wiser. You’ll have to trust me on this.

I will tell you a few things. More hints than absolutes, but valuable nonetheless. I hope.

Your home life doesn’t get much better. Try to accept that as soon as you can. I know it’s hard, but try to keep your mouth shut as much as possible. It will lessen the severity of the situation. And don’t believe what is said in anger. None of it is true and you’re not to blame. Our parents did the best they could with the tools they were given. It’s not a pass, but if you can understand that it’s their short coming, and not yours, you will heal much faster from this period of your life.

People really like you. It’s not a fluke. You are an authentic person and they can see that. That’s why you fit into many groups and not just one clique like so many others. This will be true for most of your life. It will open many opportunities for you. So relax and don’t second guess yourself. Enjoy that doobie in the smoking section and serve your classmates well in student government and entertain them in the talent show. You don’t have to  pick a place to belong. You belong wherever you want to be.

Let’s talk about your writing. You are good at it! Right now you think it’s best kept under lock and key (no one ever needs to know about that night with Karen’s brother), but you need to start relying on it for more than just therapy – even though you won’t see it as this for many years, trust me, it’s cheap therapy. It’s not luck that wins the awards and garners A’s on papers. It is a talent! A gift! I know, I know, mom and dad are already telling you that it’s not a way to “take care of yourself” and that you’ll “always struggle to make something of yourself” but that’s not true either. You will find a way to make your passion work for you. You might not get rich and famous, but we’ve never cared about that anyway.

I’m so pleased to tell you that you will still have great relationships with some of your current friends well into your life. I guess it’s true what they say about friends you make when you’re young. I don’t want to tell you much about who you marry and how that ends up. I will tell you that while it may not be the outcome you hope for in some regards, it will far exceed it in others. Spoiler alert: Your children are the most exceptional people. Ever. Not that we ever doubted that would be true.

Let me leave you with these few things to keep in the back of your mind…

  • Trust your intuition. It will NEVER steer you wrong.
  • Spend more time with Granny and Popi, what they give you, will save you many times over.
  • Forgive often and quickly.
  • Your skin will clear up. Mostly. But the freckles are here to stay.
  • Keep writing every day. And read like books are on fire. This will serve you in ways I can’t even explain.
  • Don’t do the shrooms. Stick with the disco biscuits, you’re gonna miss those someday.
  • Don’t listen when they tell you that you are bossy. You are not. You are a leader and it will serve you well.
  • It’s ok to have a messy house. It’s the laughter inside that matters.
  • Asking for help only makes you stronger.
  • Move to the beach as soon as possible. There’s no good reason not to.
  • Family isn’t just blood and sometimes those relationships are better.
  • Keep taking risks. You have a good understanding of your limits and you’ll be fine!
  • It’s okay to say no.
  • Skip the whole catholic thing, it’s a bust. Spend more time connecting to what really moves you spiritually.
  • The hippie stuff is not a stage. You will continue to find peace and spread love and it will still be groovy.
  • You’ll be ok.

Lastly, I will say this, and it’s something you already know… Choose love. Every single time. There will be nothing that gives your life more meaning, more satisfaction, more heartache, more frustration, more highs, or more lows, than love. Above all else, it’s what makes your life worth living. You’ll never regret it and you’ll never be more whole or happy…

Love & Peace,
Your older self :)

April Love 2016

Dear Books Tonia Brewer

Dear Books

Oh dear books what you mean to me!
Filling my head full of wonder with your words.
I can’t get enough of you.

You have taken me places I might never have gone.
How many people have you introduced me to?
I am forever grateful.

My time you fill with adventure and magical moments.
Just the smell of you makes everything better.
You heal me.

No matter what the day brings, I can count on you for good counsel.
You ease my pain and tickle my fancy.
My peace is within you…

 

Love & Peace,

Tonia :)

 

April Love 2016

Move on Tonia Brewer

Moving on…

So many people have a hard time moving on. I’ve heard the word ‘stuck’ a lot recently. When I think of that word it brings an image of quicksand sucking me down rendering me unable to move. The reality is that quicksand does not suck you down, in fact, it’s only a few feet deep. But the more you struggle in it, the faster you will sink. If you just relax, your body will float in it (because your body is less dense than the quicksand), then you can paddle to safety. So when you get tired of feeling stuck, stop struggling, try floating in your quicksand and calmly paddle to safety. Or ask someone for a hand and pull yourself out. And move on…

Peace & Love :)

 

#deardiary