Category Archives: Beautiful Life

Changes in Time

Changes in Time Tonia BrewerI’ve been dreading this day, since the day you died. That very evening its cruel chime reminding me you weren’t coming home. I knew it was inevitable, but shooed the thought away like a fly on my drink each time it crossed my mind.  Like living without you, I couldn’t bear the thought.  And now three years later,  it’s happenend. It’s like losing you again. The time we shared has literally stopped… Continue reading Changes in Time

No Words Tonia Brewer

No Words – Looking for my Heartbeat at the End of Pulse

Authors note: The Pulse nightclub massacre here in Orlando on June 12th,  affected many people. Personally, I’m still processing it 2 months later. I’ve had several situations that have shaken me to my core in this life but this – this was unlike anything I’ve experienced. My phone started blowing up around 3:00 a.m. that horrible morning and the sick feeling in my stomach hasn’t completely subsided to this day. It took me several days to write about it. The following is what came out of me when my fingertips finally touched the keyboard. I’ve shared it at various events around town and have had offers to publish it in several publications. But I’m still feeling raw and protective, and not ready to let it leave home just yet. I’m a believer in that something good will always come from something bad. It’s hard to see that when 49 lives have ended and 50 more are forever changed. I think the best way to honor those people is to be the most kind and loving people we can be. And to always remember that love is the answer. Love is love is love is love….

Continue reading No Words – Looking for my Heartbeat at the End of Pulse

Michaels Last Love Letter to His Girls

I just finished making a Spotify playlist. Hardly seems blogworthy I know. Except that this particular playlist will be the background as we scatter the ashes of a man taken way too soon. I’ll accompany my best friend and her daughter today to say the final goodbye to their lifelong partner and father respectively. It’s not going to be an easy day. My friend asked me to do a song list with some of Michael’s favorite songs. Since music has always been important to me and I have a rather broad appreciation for all genres so I figured I would gather the songs and that would be that. Silly me. Continue reading Michaels Last Love Letter to His Girls

I Now Know Tonia Brewer

This is What – I Now Know…

Rainy days do something to me. Maybe it has to do with being an Aries. The cooling effect of the rain on my fire self puts me in a gentle mood. A thoughtfulness pours over me and I find myself thinking about things from a different perspective. After my meditation this morning I found myself philosophizing the meaning of life. My life specifically. All day thoughts and questions passed across my mind. I decided to take a scientific approach and begin with what I know. What I now know about this life that is mine. And as the rain began to fall, I tried to make some sense of these things in the only way I really know how to. Writing them down. So here, in no particular order is what  I Now Know….  Continue reading This is What – I Now Know…

Move on Tonia Brewer

Moving on…

So many people have a hard time moving on. I’ve heard the word ‘stuck’ a lot recently. When I think of that word it brings an image of quicksand sucking me down rendering me unable to move. The reality is that quicksand does not suck you down, in fact, it’s only a few feet deep. But the more you struggle in it, the faster you will sink. If you just relax, your body will float in it (because your body is less dense than the quicksand), then you can paddle to safety. So when you get tired of feeling stuck, stop struggling, try floating in your quicksand and calmly paddle to safety. Or ask someone for a hand and pull yourself out. And move on…

Peace & Love 🙂